Grey Time
by Demenior
Summary: It was the time of the dark where it was no longer night, but not yet dawn and the world seemed void of bright colors, lit by the stars with their dark intentions. A strange time, like another world. There was no actual silence, but there was no noise. It


Something was amiss. He wanted to go back to sleep but there was some_thing_ muttering in the corners of his mind. Archie sat up slowly, not sensing anything threatening in the room. He looked around as his eyes adjusted to the gloom, but he already knew what was wrong. Jay still wasn't back. The narrow bed across the floor still hadn't been touched. '_Not so strong, Knew he was weak. All along_' With a sigh he swung his legs over the edge of his bed and woke up to the familiar motions of buckling on his ankle brace.

Athena would be downstairs, guarding the front door should anything or anyone try to go in or _out_. He grabbed a sweater off the floor, not knowing if it was his or Jay's, and threw it on overtop his wife beater. He leaned out the window slowly; Jay had left it open on his way out. The cool air finished waking him up. He took a deep breath and tasted the damp, sweet autumn air. The musky scent of leaves left a slight smile on his lips. He slipped out of the window and down onto the roof of the shed below. He froze for a moment, waiting to see if Athena had heard him, but the light never came on and the back door never slammed open. He took care to avoid knocking the trash cans over as he dropped into the back alley, he'd had too many close calls with them. There were leaves scattered on the cracked asphalt and they crunched under his bare feet.

Fortunately, tonight had been a warm night. Archie could remember running after Jay in only his pair of baggy sweatpants and a thin shirt during a cold snap. Never did he want to do that again. He didn't pay much attention to the few faces he met, '_Nameless, nobodies_',didn't bother wondering why they were up this time. He knew where he was going and he wanted to get back to bed quickly.

He couldn't quite remember when it started, when Jay began running away in the night, but it felt like he'd been doing it forever now. That first night, when he'd woken up with the window open and Jay missing and having that sinking feeling that Jay was out there somewhere, responsible, sensible Jay running around, he didn't feel it anymore, but the memory still made him feel sick. He'd run all around the city, in his pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, as it had been a fairly cool spring night. People had been staring and he'd wound up in a few fights. Then he'd found Jay in the most obvious of places, and at the same time the person he found wasn't Jay. And never really would be _Jay_ Jay again. At least, during the night he was never the same. Bringing his leader back that night, Archie had realized something. Jay was human, a teenager just like the rest of them, and _he_ was _carrying_ the weight of the world on his shoulders. It was a stunning revelation to him that Jay wasn't as strong as Archie had always thought he was.

So he didn't have the heart to tell anyone about what had happened.

And Jay had left every night after, and every night Archie had found himself waking up in the dead of the darkness and bringing his leader back safely. He felt it was his duty, his debt if you will. It was his fault Jay was like this now, and he had to put in his service for what he'd done. And it was only him. Jay was normal while the sun was up, but when the shadows came back and the doors closed and the darkness overtook their minds, that was when Archie saw what was really inside Jay. Or what was left. By starlight Archie saw what had happened to a perfect human, what his own selfishness had created. He couldn't bring himself to look at the stars; he tried to curse them for bringing out this broken thing inside of Jay.

For a long time he'd cursed them, and refused to think about them. Stars were supposed to be symbols of hope, of a guide, but Archie had to touch on the memory of that first night and he could remember everything they had done to Jay. He hated the stars, almost as much as he hated himself. The stars brought out another side of Archie that he'd never thought he'd see. Taking care of Jay was something he resented and looked forwards too at the same time, and that made him feel sick that he felt a twisted satisfaction seeing Jay broken. His inner half liked to say '_I knew you were nothing special the whole time_' while he led Jay home beneath the stars. Archie hadn't looked at the stars since that first night Jay had run away.

Jay was where he always was, lying underneath the large oak looking like a corpse hidden in the shadows. He was on his back, looking up at the stars with dead eyes. Archie walked up to Jay with his hands shoved deep in his packets, crunching the leaves loudly to announce his presence. Jay already knew his gait even if his leader had been sleeping, but it was old ritual after that first time. He'd never told anyone what truly gave his hoodie that wide slash across the gut. Jay didn't as much as flinch, and Archie could see the golden glow of the xyphos handle grasped in Jay's hand and wondered if anyone had come to disturb Jay tonight.

Archie stood still a while, looking at Jay, at the ground, and at nothing in general without really moving his head. It tasted strongly of nature here. He breathed in deeply and let his shoulders relax. There were leaves in Jay's hair and on his clothes. Another floated past Archie's head and settled on Jay's arm. The forest seemed to try and blanket him every night, to shelter him from the cold, or to hide him away so that maybe one night Archie would never find him. Jay would just lie still for hours, enthralled by the music of the trees and the stars. '_Cursed things_'. A light breeze was dancing past, leaving a chilling reminder of the oncoming winter. Archie sat down beside Jay.

"Ready to go back?" his voice was rough and felt like sandpaper. It was a foreign sounds, wrong, and Archie felt guilty about breaking the silence. Jay blinked after a moment, but made no further movement. Finally, he shook his head so slightly that no leaves fell out of his hair or off his cheek. The crunching of older leaves under him sounded far more natural than Archie, and for a moment he wondered if that was a better way to communicate. Archie decided not to speak and looked around at the park, keeping his eyes low as not to look at the sky. The breeze had picked up some, and Archie waited until his nose had started to freeze before trying to speak again. It was difficult to hurt the tranquility.

"Hey, man, we'd better head back. We don't want to be caught," again, his voice was an interfering sound. Archie got back to his feet. It was the time of the dark where it was no longer night, but not yet dawn and the world seemed void of bright colors, lit by the stars with their dark intentions. A strange time, like another world. There was no actually silence, but there was no noise. It was like a million whispers at his ears, and yet nothing all at once. Jay was silent again, probably thinking, or maybe speaking to him in a way he could not hear. But he shook his head again. The leaves weren't disturbed.

Archie felt strangely beside himself, as he always did during this time. '_Fool, weaking. Leave him be. You should lead. He is no longer fit_' The loss of color affected his emotions too. He couldn't seem to draw on any and spoke in a soft voice, "You can watch the stars from the window, Jay. It's time to go."

He stood up and looked down at Jay. Jay hadn't moved, not a muscle twitched, yet it seemed like there might be something like a frown on his face. Archie wondered just how long Jay had been lying here tonight. He leaned over Jay, blocking the view of the sky, "Jay," he held out his hand, and it was only after Jay thought and seemed to recognize what Archie was doing and remember that he did indeed have an arm, he took Archie's hand.

Archie helped pull Jay to his feet and his leader stood hunched over, eyes still looking beyond where the two of them stood. Jay was limp and could hardly hold himself up. '_A doll on stings. Defenseless_'Archie pulled Jay's arm over his shoulders to support him and, lightly tugging Jay forwards, began walking the two of them home.

"I… don't like the window…" Jay murmured.

It took Archie a while to realize Jay had spoken, now free of the leaves and trees and whispers of nature. It took him even longer to remember what Jay was talking about.

"Why not?"

Jay tossed his head back further, standing upright only because Archie held him up, "It's a hole… a wall that blocks off the skies. I don't like it." His head was so far back he was resting it completely on Archie's shoulder.

"We can leave the window open, Jay," Archie suggested. He still couldn't feel the frustration or arrogance that he might have displayed during the day. It was still blocked off, part of his daylight self. Yet he felt fuller than he had in a long, long time.

"I like the… grass. It feels nice," Jay was still looking at the stars, "the grass is real."

"So is my bed," Archie tried to smile, to get Jay to come back down to earth, but there was no use, "and I for one would like to get back to it."

He'd expected a long pause, and was hoping for maybe a joke, something to show him Jay wasn't completely gone yet, and this would be the last night, "They're so old. They've seen so much. Sometimes they tell me stories. They talk to me." His head was still back, his hair was tickling Archie's neck, but Archie's sense of feeling seemed to have been locked away with his emotions and he felt it, but didn't, at the same time. Jay's dark eyes were still scanning the stars above. '_Hate them. Hate them. Hate you_'The crunching and shuffling of their feet in the leaves seemed strangely muted.

Archie pulled Jay's arm tight around him, as the older was slipping in his grip, "I'm sure they do."

They made it back to the Brownstone without further incident or words, and maybe the strange effects of this grey time were wearing off, as even Jay was walking on his own feet now, fully aware of the dangers of being caught outside at this time. Archie still helped Jay climb up onto the roof of the shed before climbing up himself. Jay was still looking up at the stars as he made to walk across the roof. One wrong step would send him falling, very easily injuring himself and most likely getting them caught. Archie grabbed Jay's wrist firmly enough that his leader wouldn't fall. '_It's all his fault. It's all because of the stars_'. Archie pulled Jay quickly across the roof, pausing briefly to make sure Athena hadn't seen them.

For his rag-doll movements, Jay surprised Archie by being able to leap up and pull himself through the window unaided. Archie jumped up and grabbed onto the windowsill, not as good a jump as he'd have normally preferred, but the cold bugged his ankle and made it worse than usual. As he pulled himself up, his grip slipped and he almost fell. '_It's all your _fault'. Jay grabbed him and pulled him halfway through the window. He was still holding Archie's wrists when he started speaking again.

"You should come with me. You would like the stories," his smile was for Archie but his eyes were still looking outside.

"Not tonight Jay," Archie said softly, looking down and pulling out of Jay's grasp. He climbed into the room, "now you need to sleep, okay?" More leaves fell out of Jay's hair as he nodded. '_Nothing but a babe under that skin. Worthless, that one_'They were unable to cling as well to him when he was in this unnatural place. Jay continued looked over his shoulder at the window as Archie directed him to his untouched bed and helped Jay lay down.

"Night, Jay," Archie tried to grin, feeling the block between him and himself starting to fade. It wasn't enough, but at least tonight he wasn't lost in the grey time. '_Useless boy. Leave him with his stars_'He plucked the last leaf from Jay's hair. Jay smiled, and his eyes finally looked at him.

"Can we leave it open?" Jay was still looking at him.

"Which?"

"The window."

Archie shrugged, the barrier was weaker, "Sure. It'll help explain all the leaves anyways." He managed to smile again at Jay before he moved across the room to his own bed. Archie tossed off his sweater and curled up in the soft quilts. His feet tingled, and he reminded himself he should get a spare set of shoes for the winter. Bare feet wouldn't be fun in snow. Jay was lying on his back, looking out the window. Archie wondered what the sky looked like tonight. He hadn't looked at the sky since Jay had started sneaking out all that time ago.

"They still talking?" Archie asked. Jay nodded.

Stars were supposed to be so great for people. A beacon of light. Archie could only think of what they had done to Jay, and in his quiet rebellion against them he refused to follow them. The longer he continued avoiding them, the more he realized he was just as bad as Jay. But Jay could still be normal in the day, keep everyone believing he was still sane. Archie knew the way they'd all looked at him when they thought he wasn't looking. He'd looked into their eyes and seen their mocking of him, that he still took orders from them, even when he knew that he was better, stronger, then all of them. He knew how they sneered behind his back and whispered about him. He heard those whispered, heard them even when they didn't speak. They thought themselves so coy, but he knew.

"Alright then. Sleep well," he said quietly. Archie turned away from Jay, telling himself he was exhausted out of his mind. But he still covered his head with his pillow to try and drive away the ancient voices whispering in the fringes of his hearing. His star-lit half retreated inside of him as dawn came. Archie shivered under his blankets, and it wasn't from cold. He looked over his shoulder to Jay, secretly. Jay was starting to nod off, sleeping with the stars. He was smiling. He would be sane, be strong in the morning. And Archie would still be tired, still hear the stars hissing in his ears, and the others talking when they weren't around.

Maybe Jay wasn't the crazy one.

The stars continued murmuring after the two boys had fallen asleep and the grey time faded away into another bright dawn.

* * *

Something to ponder on.

-Demenior


End file.
